In my quest to find understanding I have discovered something about myself. Through my friend Kim I have realized what really does need to change about me. Though I love God and try to find my meaning through His will for my life, I tend to look for love and acceptance from people a lot as well. I tend to open my heart up very easily. This is not just in the incidences that are romantic, but with all my relationships. I tend to let myself get way more invested than the other person a lot faster. I think I understand why I tend to this.
I think it all goes back to my dad. He never gave me his love or approval. So in my mind, if I do enough for my friends, if I open up enough, they won't leave like my dad did. I forget that it is the one who opens up is the one unlikely to leave and that my opening up does not prevent them from leaving me. This summer I plan on working on developing a partial guard around my heart.
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I will now end this post with another story of the week: The Prank
After my surprise Party, I was left with a 140 something balloons just about filling the entire suite. i decided that I did not want to pop all the balloons nor did I want to keep them. My lovely roommate Landi, Kim and myself filled the girls side elevator with the balloons. Balloons popped, girls screamed, one girl even exclaimed "It's not my birthday!" I have now created joy in the hearts of people. It is funny because I have overheard girls saying "I just love these balloons" while playing with them. It was completely worth the trouble of getting them in the elevator.
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I was packing my room today when I was trying to lower my bed. In doing this, I ended up having the metal frame drop onto my foot causing me great pain. Having just gotten off the phone with Cody and Ben, I started bawling and screaming in pain. As they walked down the hall they heard this and came to my rescue. After trying to carry me, they got me to my car and to the emergency room. I got to ride in a wheel chair. They put us in a room where we played with a latex glove by blowing it up and letting it go. We then played honey I love you, the slap game, and with the rolling chair. I finally got my x-ray, it was just a contusion. They wrapped it up, gave me some ice, and then made me wait 20 more minutes. After they finally let me go, we went to Taco Bell.
I truly do have amazing friends in Heather, Cody, and Ben.
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