Today I am working on my short film. This film is supposed to define at least one of the biggest lessons I have learned while attending University. The theme of the film is learning to let go of the pain you hold onto from the past in order to have the opportunity for happiness in your present or future. The main girl is Rachel, is a characterization of me though she will be taller than I in the film. She is enjoying her college life and succeeding when we join her. Her T.A., Alex, even has a bit of a crush on her. When he asks her to go on a date, she can't say yes. She won't let herself say yes. She feels too damaged by her past to think she could have a relationship with her dream guy which he is in actuality. On her way back from the Library she sees her drunken alcoholic father sitting outside her Residential Hall. After a horrible encounter with her father, she is sucked into a black hole of despair. It isn't until she asks the big questions and gets some answers that she is able to take that first step towards happiness. But can she trust a man like Alex when no man in her life has ever done her right? Well... I know, but you may not (if by chance someone is actually reading this.)
This is my story. I want to love. I want to get married one day. But I don't know if I will ever actually trust a man if given a reason... or even a nonreason, to not trust him. I pray to God every day that I will. That's a lie. Not every day. But sometimes, when I am feeling my weakest, I pray.
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